Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Lonely days

Okay, so I can't stay quiet for long. lol I sometimes feel like I'm the only woman in the world. We only live about 10 miles from town but sometimes it feels like 200. My husband grew up here with his brother and we can go to town and all I hear from alot of people is "hey are you related to Rick". Rick (Tim's brother) has been married for about 15 years and his wife, Trish seems to be into everything here in town. Sometimes it feels like there isn't anyone left for me to be friends with because they all already know Rick and Trish and I'm just an extension of the family. It would be nice if my husband and I could go somewhere and be recognized for us and who we are. We are looking at joining a church here and we are getting a bit of that there now but even there his brother and sister in law come up often. Sometimes I'd like to pick up and move somewhere where no one knows them and we can be just us. My husband is rather quiet and shy though whereas his brother is really outgoing. Tim tends to blend into the background whenever he goes anywhere and consequently is liked by everyone but doesn't really have any close friends. Me...I'm bossy, pushy, and a lot of times come off as being a know-it-all even though I really don't try to be. So I tend to turn potential friends away without even trying or meaning to. All my life it's felt as though animals were the only real friends I would ever have and that no one else on earth understood. Raised in the city I always felt out of place and a bit of an oddball. Reading the other blogs on here, Goats in the Garden, Farm Dreams, Whispering Acres , and getting to be more every day, I don't feel so alone, I only wish you all were closer to where we are and that I could be friends with people like you in real life. (sorry, this isn't meant to sound down in the dumps either cause I'm really not, nothing ever sounds the way I mean it too :( )

9 comments:

Claire said...

I'm right there with you on this! I moved to Iowa nearly 7 years ago, whereas Kelly grew up here. He's lived in this area for many years, even though he grew up in a different part of Iowa. I'm always the outsider though. I have good colleagues at work, but other than that, kinda sorta lonely sometimes. The animals sure make a difference on that. Plus, right now, I'm so busy with school plus work plus farm that it's hard to think about being lonely!

JLB said...

I get that way a lot unfortunately, his family runs the ranch and they all have their places on it and it takes too much time to teach me when they already know everything that's going on so I probably will never get a place on the ranch. Have a few friends in town and go to a moms group on a regular basis but still feel like an outsider even there sometimes. Oh well :)

Claire said...

Maybe you could do something new on the ranch, like raise something different that they haven't raised before, etc. That would make it "yours" and then you could teach them something and have your own expertise. I'm not a mom so for me that makes it extra hard because many of the women my age are involved and busy in their kids' lives and I have nothing to talk about in that area. But, I did recently join a spinning group (for spinning wool) so that is a nice change of pace.

PlowandPony said...

WoW. I could totally relate to that post. Was born and raised in Iowa but moved out on my own and lived in Arizona for 22 years. I had tons of friends there and a great life. Unforseen circumstances forced a move to Missouri 13 years ago and here I am always the "outsider" I have tended to hole up here at the farm and gotten less and less social over time. I am planning to blog this whole story soon. But yes..it's been difficult and lonely. I love my on line life though!!!

Christy said...

Man, you could have described me! I'm bossy and pushy and can come off as a know it all. I'm really a nice person, I just apparently lack social skills. So that has made me very quiet so now I come off as "better than you" because I rarely talk in public for fear of coming off as a know it all. Sigh. And we just moved here 4 months ago, so I understand the loneliness! Luckily, as Logan get older he gets to be better company.

JLB said...

lol well you all got me laughing now.

Claire: This "farm" within the ranch is my "job" lol so far it hasn't worked.

Plowandpony: I need a plow and pony...oh wait...that's off subject...less social...hmmm you don't say ;)

Christy: Great! I'm starting to think all this is a requirement for our lifestyles. So next I'll be "better than you" huh?? (I've already shut up in public for that fear) I'll have to keep that in mind, maybe I should walk around with my nose stuck in the air a bit?? (Lilly's too young to be much company yet)

Mom L said...

I really want to comment on the last post - the one with photos all over the farm! I tried to respond right after reading it but couldn't get the verification, so gave up. Looks like you've fixed that. You have an amazing job on your hands, and I admire that you do things as you can, keeping the animals' needs and comfort first!
Nancy in Atlanta

JLB said...

thanks :) I try, I'd love more time to spend with them though just as I'd love to be able to build them all better houses but I'm sure when Lilly get older I should have more time.

Tracy Paige said...

I do understand how you feel Jen. I live in a town of about 100 people and it is really a dying community. There are no people that are even remotely close to my age or Mace's for that matter so we tend to just do our own thing and have no opportunity to socialize. I am ever so thankful for networking pages like facebook and blogger so that I can stay in touch with the people I love and know love me right back. If it wasn't for the internet and phone I'd be one lonely critter just hanging out with Mace and our dog. Not that that is a bad thing but I do miss the days of living in a place with a few more people and opportunities to make friendships. Its defininately a good thing that my friends from cheyenne and college are all computer literate *winks*. Love you lots and am hoping that joining a church will improve your chances at finding a community of people to share your lives with.

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